So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
