Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
