I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Little spoons don't ask big questions
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize