i may or may not be watching the land before time
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
