How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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