I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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