Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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