I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
