just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize