Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
