I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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