why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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