Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
