I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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