I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You made out with two different species that night
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize