im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
