How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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