ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
