i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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