What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
