Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
