making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
