Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i've created a new STD.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
