i was rollin on her like bob the builder
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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