Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize