You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
