There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
