Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The power of my boobs compel you
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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