I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She announced her abortion via fbk
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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