just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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