I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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