Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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