Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
