I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
