Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
