i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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