We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
