what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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