U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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