Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize