you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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