May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
