a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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