I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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