i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Let's get the cat blown out
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
