at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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