I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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