Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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