At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
