i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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