i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
