What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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