trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
