guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
