me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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