My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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